The Atomic Eye

Friday, October 13, 2006

Friday the Thirteenth

Today, in honor of Friday the Thirteenth, evils have been unleashed from the Perplexing Cabinet.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

It's true! Ants are crossing our border at an alarming rate. The proposed 700 mile fence will not even slow them down. We call on all who read this notice to write their representatives in Washington and demand that a moat be added to the 700 mile fence to keep out illegal alien ants.

Tags: Ants+in+your+pants

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Popeye ate E.coli Spinach!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Summer Heatwave has Snowmen working overtime!

Snowmen are working double shifts as a heatwave grips the country. Summer is usually the busiest time of the year for snowmen as they pump out ice cream one cone at a time, but the season's unusually high temperatures have put an unusually high demand on the product.The snowmen at the ice cream factories say they enjoy meeting the demand, stating, "We don't mind the extra work because it keeps us inside the factory where it's nice and cool... if we were to get off work earlier, we'd melt as before we could get to our cars in the employee lot.".

Monday, September 04, 2006

Act Now! Get your Ticket!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Security Lockdown - Current Focus On Ban on Liquids May Pass Pistols:

Impossible! One might think, but with all the recent focus on banning perfume and shampoo alike, officials warn that TSA Inspectors are alert to look for more traditional contraband, like hand guns, box cutters and the like.

Image Source: Snapsoid

parody

Security Lockdown - What Not to Carry On Flights:

Airports have begun to send back handmade contraptions like this one. Officials said that such items must be sent in your checked baggage, but travelers are rebuffed at the first checkpoint. At primary inspection, be prepared to show your identification and travel documents if asked for them.

Voted Best: Peter Murphy, Australia

Security Lockdown - Planet Earth

Security is tight as airports sniff out domestic bred enemies of freedom by cross indexing dromedary registration records with a expired student visa data base to sniff out terrorists as they enter the airport's main viaduct, and utility access gates.